What's in your 'BUCKET LIST'?

"It's difficult to understand the sum of a person's life.
Some people would tell you it's measured by the one's left behind.
Some believe it can be measured in faith.
Some say by love.
Other folks say life has no meaning at all.
Me? I believe that you measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you".-Carter Chamber, played by Morgan Freeman in the movie The Bucket List-

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If you had to gauge your life, how'd you measure it up?

Probably with the number of achievements you have?
The amount of money you earn?
Number of friends you make?
Possessions you acquire?
Whatever. But wouldn’t it be great to just forget all about it and live for the moment?. . .Fun but without stepping on anyone’s feet… Later on you’ll find people looking up to you, and that’s how we can truly measure ourselves. Probably. Or probably not.
I celebrated my birthday a couple of weeks ago, should I live up to a century, I’m already on my second quarter. That’s if I can. Perla’s prediction (see related article) still rings into my mind which by the way drive me to enjoy life to the fullest and just have fun for tomorrow is unsure.
As a rare coincidence, my birthday is also my mom's. Every year, we always have a race to who is the first person to greet Happy Birthday. This time, for three years in a row, we had to greet each other by phone, observing the 13-hour difference. Once the other end is answered, we started howling Happy Birthday to each other, followed by "How are you? What are you doing for your birthday"?, normal routine but this year there was a twist I least expected. My mom started by saying my age minus two. I told her the real age (of course she knew it, she was just teasing me and subtly telling me, "Oh hija, you’ve been there for two years already that I almost forgot"), and she mimicked a surprise voice, and after she recovered from the supposed shock told me with such temerity, ‘Darling you should get married now.’ WWWHHHHHHAAATTTT!!! And funny thing is, unlike any mother who would set up a standard for their future son-in-laws with qualities such as: loving, intelligent, blahblahblah, my mom, as unique as she is, only asked me to find a man with sharp nose!!! I wouldn’t start by telling you how obsessed my family is to have generations of sharp-nosed individuals. Probably I have to compensate my not having it by having children who will have the very desired quality. Oh mother!!! I only dismissed it with laughter! Of course she couldn’t be serious.
Not after I talked to one of my friends who innocently commented ‘Yey, in Asian standard, you’re in marrying age already.” And added, “you’re old!” that I got so terrified.
Who wouldn’t be? I mean no one can force me to get married, no one can and that's totally out of the question, but the realization that I was expected to have done something bigger scared me. I haven’t even done what I’m supposed to do, whatever that is. I don’t even know what my purpose is. And still the clock continues on ticking. . .tic-tac…
So timely I watched the Bucket List and made me wonder, what is my bucket list? And before I’d known it, I started scribbling on my notes, and this is what I came up with:
- play the guitar (I don't have the required patience though)
- go sky-diving (this I will do the soonest)
- try to write an article for a newspaper (I dunno, the idea just popped into my head)
- let go of my inhibitions that prevent me from being bold
- choose something, stick to it, and commit (don’t still know what I want to be but probably this is too early for this one.)
- don’t be afraid to get to fail and get hurt

I dare not try to measure my life, instead I will do my things distinctively, be happy, and set as a good example to those who look up to me… in that way I could say, I’m living my life to the fullest and that would suffice.

Chiva 2007

I was so proud to be able to make it...After Spanish class I was only left with few minutes to change from comfy clothing to decent CHIVA-like costume. I owe it to Steve for shouting and pressuring me while changing. Omar was amazed to see me running with belt still on hand...But I made it, that's what matters!!!

We did have a lot of fun. A lot of dancing which caused my feet to sore the next day. A lot of drinking for my other housemates which sent them to high productivity (being sarcastic here ;) the next two days...


with Faduoa

with Steve and Eli

with Taha and Patty

the evening's twist...CHIVA broke down, really didn't know the real reason, I heard a couple of versions like STEVE's: we hit a girl, TIFFANY's: Adam mysteriously made it stop (she looked serious when she told me this, might have been the effect of alcohol). on the pic: taha and I were fixing the car.

Let's Celebrate Life

…and the real story unfolds…

This all began many years ago, when yours truly was still a brat, little girl. As the only girl-child in the house, I seemed to have all the power to do anything I wanted to. And due to lack of playmates, then workers at the house were the poor recipient of my pernicious tricks, and since I was their boss’ daughter they couldn’t touch me. I was that horrible, I know!!! ...and then, one unusual revenge came in an unexpected manner … (her name was) Perla, who must’ve been fed up with all my seemingly innocent yet destructive at times acts, mapped out a plan to bring me down…for life. She claimed to be a fortune teller who could predict the future by merely looking on the birthdates and examining the lines of the palm. Her claim was matched with my eagerness to peep a little hole of my future, unaware of her sneaky intention. As a pre act she tried to predict my brothers’ futures which turned out something really good. I was really excited for mine but then it turned out that mine wasn’t as good as my brothers. Her poignant words, ¨You will not live long, you’ll die young¨ have taunted me ever since. Fear deterred me from sharing this burden to anyone. It had become a great paranoia when I reached teenage years. Any miniscule pain was always translated to cancer…In my mind I had experience all kinds of cancer and when I reached 20, was I happy!!! Every year since then was a big celebration. Of course I kept it all to myself…not until now.

The idea of having a short life has pushed me to my limits. There are bad things but good things can be fairly attributed as well. I couldn’t take it away from my mind, and somehow, I expect one of these days I would be out in this game… but then I fairly play the game. It led me to my aversion to anything risky, yet it made me risk for more (baffling??? I couldn’t explain it further). Age is just numbers… It doesn’t make you old or young… We should count all the things we’ve done and stop counting the years. I still believe I’m still young. Perla forgot to define what age is ‘young’ and 50 could still be young for all I know. I really should thank her for showing me that every tick of the clock counts, every relationship matters, and every person is worth caring for. For this I would like to toast a bottle of aguardiente: Happy 25th birthday to me!!!

*This will be my second birthday in Colombia. Last year was great; I had my first passed-out experience. To my friends back home, join me in my celebration… For…over the years and years to come!!! CHEERS!!!

To my mother, happy 59th birthday!

And Perla, wherever you are, Thank You!